July 28, 2008 by veronica.

Our house has been on the market for almost 4 months now. The good news? We’ve had a ton of showings. The bad? No offers. Some feedback has been weird and random, some positive, and some very irritating (I mean, seriously, we can’t do a THING about our neighbor’s yard). We changed realtors, which has helped, but the fact of the matter remains our house is up for sale in one of the worst markets in years. What drives me crazy is that buyers want everything for no money. If you want a cheap house, there are some nice mold-infested messes all over town. Our house is NOT one of them, and yes, it is priced accordingly. Granted, we are looking at houses to buy, too, but we know there’s a huge difference in quality between a foreclosure (or even short sale) and a normal, hey, I need to sell for life reasons house. And yes, there’s a difference in price, but you can’t expect to screw everyone over.
So here we are, Chris still commuting a total of 4 hours a day, and my tummy getting ever-bigger. I hit 34 weeks this week (Or 35 weeks, depending on what dates you line up on the wheel of fun). And even though I have complete confidence going into this birth, there’s still something very unsettling about being home alone with a 2 1/2 year old for almost 13 hours a day with my husband a good 2 hour commute away. The ideal world would have been to move by now, but we had to pull the trigger and move to Plan B. That would be the plan where we move in with Chris’s parents in less than 2 weeks and wait for the baby (and, ostensibly, wait for the house to sell) there. The advantages to this plan are NUMEROUS– Chris will have a shorter commute, someone can help me reach things when I drop them on the floor, the house will always be clean for showings, I won’t be alone for the majority of the day, and on and on…. Sometimes it makes more sense than anything else that could have happened.

We are now spending our days slowly filling boxes. Packing isn’t so bad when you only fill 8 or 9 boxes at a time. We are running out of storage space in our unit, which I take as a sign of immense progress. I have a group of items all organized for when the baby comes. We went through all of Lily’s things and took out the items that were gender-neutral. We have gathered the bassinet, the sheets, and we purchased some clothes for the little guy to wear when he comes home for the first few weeks. Everything that we need right away is in the “Baby Now” tub. It’s all good.

One of the things that you miss out on 2nd (and I’m sure 3rd and 4th) children is the wonderful process of picking out every single item you want for your baby…although it’s kind of nice knowing most of that crap you’ll never need anyway. Yes, we had to pick out some clothes for this kid, but it’s not the same. Some things, though, I have taken large amounts of joy in. Like what, you ask? Well,
1) We spent a portion of the stimulus check on BumGenius 3.0 cloth diapers and cloth wipes. A lot of them. But hey, they’re made in the US, so that’s more stimulation to go around! Once Baby grows out of newborn diapers, we will hopefully have to spend little, if any, money on additional diapers.
2) Last week, after receiving my second invitation to the “Strong Moms” club, I called up the “lovely” Similac corporation and told them to remove me from their mailing list. Hell, I made it 27 months with Lily, I’ll be just fine, thank you! (Yeah, I was a closet nurser, but not so much now….I am VERY proud of us for making it that long!!!!) Here’s to upholding the WHO Code of Ethics!!!!
3) I got to buy a new diaper bag! We just bought it last night. Lily’s bag gave out years ago. We researched, comparison shopped, discussed, but finally ended up buying the closeout version of the Sherpani Lena. I get it on Friday and I’m very excited.
4) I feel great for being this far along. As of last week, I have only gained 21 pounds this whole pregnancy. It’s been a lot of work staying within the guidelines. I watch what I eat, I’ve been going to yoga classes since January, and if all else fails, my midwife gives me a good talking to about the ills of stress eating. This is all good. With Lily, I was always swollen, always had a hard time moving around, and felt like crap for the last 3 months. Now I just feel really pregnant, which means that I have my days if I don’t pace myself.

All in all, things are OK. They could be better, but they could be worse. Right now, we are looking at them just the way they are. Well, trying. And maybe some day we’ll be able to look back and this will all make sense, but right now we’re just going to move on the best we can.

Posted in Soapbox anyone?, Life, Raising baby | 1 Comment »

June 6, 2008 by veronica.

I realize this blog has very little to do with me, but I don’t care. This is important stuff.

So, the study kind of got lost in the hubub of a NYT article regarding some health insurance companies denying coverage (or charging more) for moms who have had Cesarean Births. But there was also a study that was just published that linked Cesareans with the increased risk of having a late preterm infant. Here’s the link.
Add another little “secret” to the consent forms for Cesareans, along with increased risk of maternal death, increased risk of infant death, increased chance of miscarriage in subsequent pregnancies, infection…and on and on….(and yes, I’m serious. Just do some homework. It’s all true.)

Posted in Living la vida Lamaze, Soapbox anyone?, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

June 5, 2008 by veronica.

I’m not a big fan of the FDA. I think they approve too many things that are not safe to use. I don’t think drug companies can be trusted, either. Generally, and history proves this time and time again, they’ll hide bad information to get a drug approved. But when BOTH the FDA and a manufacturer warn against using a medication for a specific use, trust me, we should LISTEN.

And I say this because pretty much every care provider in a 15 mile radius will lie and say it’s safe. It’s not. It’s just really, really cheap, and so effective it literally squeezes unborn children (and the uteruses that house them) to death in more cases than anyone would care to admit. The drug? Cytotec. Want proof? Here and here.

There are safer alternatives, like prostaglandins (ideally in a method that can be removed if either mother or baby don’t tolerate the treatment), but they are more expensive, and less ahem effective. But seriously? I think it’s time hospitals stop lying to moms (or, actually, just not informing them) and move on to the next crazy birth medicine.

Posted in Living la vida Lamaze, Soapbox anyone? | 1 Comment »

March 14, 2007 by veronica.

People will always tell you that having a baby changes everything.  Well, hopefully, yeah. it does.  If it doesn’t, that would mean you (well, you or that Indian woman whose womb you rented) had a child and then you have the nanny take care of little Junior (see Spears, Britney) while you go out and party with Paris.  Having a child may even mean that you no longer think Ralph Nader is a shrill, Bush-electing hack.

See, I listened to his visit on MPR last week.  He was there talking about traditions, but part of what he was talking about was how economy now has corporations basically raising our children for us.  They deliver them, feed them, diaper them, watch them, and entertain them.  We have our children in large hospitals, where the unpredictable course of labor is regulated and determined by a bunch of doctors, rather than having them with midwives (at a much lower cost!).  We use formula, because so many American women think nursing is “nasty”, “embarassing”, or just too difficult.  Well, that and so many doctors and nurses will still tell you that formula is better.  Both Mom and Dad have to work outside the home to make ends meet…and so we can have “fulfilling lives.”  Because we work, we look for the easiest, fastest, and cheapest way to get things done…but at what cost?

I have to say, I am trying to stop feeding the machine.  Yes, I still nurse.  I am seriously thinking of having a homebirth for the next child.  I work part time.  And now, we may be going to cloth diapers.  I’m trying.  At the end of the day, though, it’s not about me…it’s about Lily.  But I find it interesting how I used to think that Ralph Nader was a hack, and now I’m finding some truth to what he says.  Becoming a parent really does change you.

Posted in Soapbox anyone?, Raising baby | 2 Comments »

February 14, 2007 by veronica.

Alright.  Some of you watch Studio 60.  NBC just annunced this morning that they are oulling the seies before the end of the full run, and even though they say it will come back eventually, who knows.  I say if they can still keep crappy, creaky ER on air, they can keep Studio 60 on.  So, here, if you care, let NBC know.  And if that link does not work, I can help you find the show feedback section on NBC.com.

Posted in Soapbox anyone? | No Comments »

November 10, 2006 by veronica.

I have to say, it feels wonderful to have voted this year and, for the most part, be in the majority. It was terrible the last 3 elections to go vote, always hoping that my voice would be heard, and then sit in front of the TV and computer all night and get…nothing. It’s like yelling under water. So it’s a very good feeling to see that maybe this voting thing can work. Take that, Karl Rove! Gerrymandering districts can’t override the will of the people!

I will lay off all political comments now for at least a few weeks.

Last night marked the beginning of my week and a half of total schedule insanity. I went to a movie premiere of a documentary called “With Women”. The movie theater had a bunch of booths with exhibitors, so I talked to some midwifes who work in and around Rochester, gave them my cards, got theirs, and picked up some playdate schedules. I was really looking forward to the movie, but….the sound didn’t work. Something about the Dolby system not being compatible with movies edited on home computers. It was disappointing. My hero, Ina May Gaskin was in the documentary too, but it was hard to hear what she said. I may end up buying the movie for $35, which I guess, in the end, helps out the filmaker more than just going last night. If I do pick it up, I will totally lend it to anyone who is interested.

So that was last night. Tomorrow, we have a wedding to go to. Tuesday I have a doula meeting. Wednesday, Breastfeeding class at OMC (for doula certification—I do have breastfeeding down pretty well by now!). Thursday and Friday– doula training in Bloomington. I guess there’s 2 days off in the middle of the insanity. I’m sure I’ll need them. I’ll post updates of everything and pictures from the wedding– if I remember to bring my camera! But hopefully by the end of next week, I will be all ready to doula. That will be a good thing– because yesterday, I got my second doula client! Yippee!

Posted in The doula journey, Soapbox anyone? | No Comments »

November 6, 2006 by veronica.

Just a few thoughts about this election….

When someone says that we have to put health care back in the hands of patients, all that will boil down to is health savings accounts and price lists online.  I do work for a health insurance agent, and nobody uses them.  It’s all a bunch of lip service.  And it puts more money with the health insurance companies.

I have no idea why the Republicans keep calling me.  I’m a registered Democrat.  Calling me, reading a really fast message about why babies will be eaten by Osama if the Democrats take over Congess, and then hang up.  How is that promoting a healthy democracy?

Why is “Liberal” a bad word?

And why is it OK for Iraqi babies to die?

I’m just saying…

Posted in Soapbox anyone? | No Comments »

October 25, 2006 by veronica.

I haven’t posted in awhile.  My sister came to visit us from Rochester, NY, so we were busy doing lots of fun things.  We went to a Halloween party, visited the MOA, and spent a lot of time watching Lily play with her new, super-big Legos.  I have pictures, and I will post them once I get home and get them off of my camera.  So that was good.

I did get a name for my doula-izing.  I know it was tough.  Unfortunately, Doula Doula did not win out.  Gentle Babe and Gentle Acts were also rejected.  Chris thought they sounded too much like strip club names.  I didn’t see it, but that’s fine.  I ended up putting any plans on the shelf for making my own brochures, ordered them from DONA, and printed out some very plain business cards.  Nothing fancy, just enough to get me off of the ground.  I go to training in Woodbury in 2 weeks, and that should be very fun.

I am getting a little frustrated, though, with the process of becoming a childbirth educator.  I’m going back and forth between 2 organizations, Lamaze and ICEA.  Both are very well respected, and each has it’s own pros and cons.  However, the ICEA website is extremely confusing and every time I go to figure out what I need to do, I find a new piece of information and get all confused.  I did call their offices once, but the lady I spoke with was very short and treated my questions like an interruption.  I did not get any warm fuzzies, and I was really disappointed.  The Lamaze contact has been good, but I think I’ve been having a hard time receving any of her emails, and I’m not sure why.  I just don’t know.  Both organizations require my attendance at a training seminar, but Chicago right now is the closest traning I’ve found for next year.  I’m thisclose to giving up, and that makes me sad.  After getting rejected for the OMC opening, and now this, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing.  I know that becoming a childbirth educator would help me help women become empowered and confident in their ability to go through the birthing process, and I know that I so very much want to help others get over the fear that seems to surround many people’s perception of the birth process.  I’m just not sure how to do that if I’m not an educator as well as a doula.

I’ve been reading some really good books about the work that midwives do, and I’m seeing so much how our birth experiences could be so much more positive than they really are.  They could be cheaper, safer, and more satisfying.  There are ways this can happen, but there is some resistance to doing anything differently.  The United States has the worst infant mortality rate out of any industrialized country in the world, yet we spend more money per birth than any country.  Some of that has to do with poverty, lack of access to health care for some, and premature births, but it just goes to show that things need to change.  Women should be supported throughout pregnancy by society, they should be able to get health care for all 9 months, and they should be educated so that they can make the best possible choices for them.  There is so much focus on the “right-to-life” debate, yet only 17% of employers now offer a paid maternity leave, there is a growing resistance by corporations to adopt family- friendly policies, and funding is constantly being cut that ensures the safetly and well-being of our littlest Americans.  If the pro-lifers are serious, they should put half of the energy they put into the fight to ban abortion into creating a mandated paid 3 month maternity leave for all working women.  Funding Head Start and trying to end poverty would help, but it makes sense to at least let a mother stay at home for 3 months and give her child a good start without having to worry about how to pay for housing.  Or food.  Or healthcare.  I don’t even think it would be too hard to put together, logistics-wise, but I know that most emlpoyers would protest any legislation that would require funding paid maternity leave.  Well, not all.  Just 83% of them.

Posted in The doula journey, Soapbox anyone? | No Comments »

October 17, 2006 by veronica.

When I left my job at Ameriprise, I left a postion that was very, very stressful.  My coworkers stressed me out.  The clients stressed me out.  Home office stressed me out.  The paperwork stressed me out.  I had to go to monthly massage sessions to stay sane.  I never relaxed, even when I got home at night.  It was terrible.

Thrivent has been 100% different.  Because they have very strict rules on what contact I can have with “members”, I can avoid all of the nasty, angry, irritated calls.  So even though I do know exactly what they are talking about, I get to cut them off right away and pass the call along to one of my bosses.  This is good.  One of the worst aspects about my job is that people tend to get very, very weird about their money.  Nothing sets them off quite like investing.  Not that I blame them.  I don’t.  If I thought someone was messing with my life savings, I’d freak out.  I just hate being on the other end of that call.

Today, I got the first nasty, awful call that made me feel like I hadn’t left my old job.

I got a call from a lawyer’s assistant.  She said she wanted to change the ownership and beneficiary information on some holdings of a member, but she didn’t know what kind of accounts they were or if she really had these assets.  In addition, she wanted to make these changes over the phone, and could I please tell her the amount of everything client A held?

Excuse me?

I know other places might not have this rule, but I know better than give out any information to a third party without authorization.  I explained this policy to the dear legal assistant, but she said she didn’t know why we had to do that.  After all, client A is ill and the lawyer’s office was supposed to change everything.

So the conversation was something like (The legal assistant speaking first):

“So you mean you can’t give me that information?”

“No.  I need the client’s permission to talk to you.  And then, once we have that permission, I can call you back and we can discuss what you want done.”

“Well, her mother is supposed to call.” (Client A is almost 60)
“See, and that’s not going to work.  Your client is the owner of the accounts, so anything needs to come from her.”

“Well, the client is too ill.  She can’t call.”

“OK, then we could take that instruction from whomever has power of attorney.  I’d just need to have a copy of that document in the file before releasing information.”

“What do you mean by power of attorney?  What are you talking about?”

See, and this is where I almost hung up.  She works at a lawyer’s office.  One who drafts the POA documents.  So not only was she asking me to circumvent the law, she didn’t even understand one of the basic ideas in estate planning.  I ended the call by telling her that in order for any conversation to continue, I had to hear from the client.  And no, we can not change ownership or beneficiaries over the phone, it had to be done with forms (another extremely obvious issue.  Some states even need a consent of a spouse for these changes).
I never heard from client A.

Miss legal assistant called back 30 minutes later, looking for the forms so she could fill them out herself.  I told her Thrivent didn’t put them online.  She was really terse with me, saying other companies did.  My reply was that her statement was not true, and in this case, it’s a matter of Thrivent trying to protect the accounts of its members from unsolicited third party interventions.

The legal assistant ended up faxing her request.  Here’s the issue.  I don’t care if she came to my office.  I wasn’t going to help her until I heard from the client.  End. Of. Story.

It put me in a terrible mood for the rest of the day.  I wasn’t upset at the prospect of having to change anything, but completely taken aback that someone who worked in a law office would be so clueless.

My boss did talk to the client at around 4:30.  See?  That wasn’t so hard.  I don’t know why the law office was trying to do it without her, but I’ll tell you, when the time comes, I’m getting my will somewhere else.

Grrr.

Posted in Soapbox anyone? | 3 Comments »

August 28, 2006 by veronica.

Last night I decided to check out how many hits my blog has been receiving. 1and1 is really good at letting you go over every silly stat about your site, but let’s be honest, it’s the number that’s really interesting. I’ll let Chris worry about browser data. So for last week, my blog had…wait for it…301 hits!!! WTH? Even taking into account how many times I check into my blog to see how it looks (and to keep me awake in the afternoons at work), that’s still a lot! Chris tried to tell me it was all from Google, but I don’t care. 301 is a big number.

This weekend I did realize that I actually own one other book on the DONA reading list. It’s actually the very first pregnancy book I bought. (I ended up with 3.) That was a very exciting discovery–almost like finding a $20 bill in the pocket of your coat when you put it on for the first time in the winter!

So, there’s a lot of stuff in the news about the one year anniversary of Hurricane katrina coming up. (What? You haven’t heard about it? You must not own a TV. Or a radio. Or a computer.) It’s really hard to see those images again, to hear the discussions of what went wrong, etc. I remember standing in our kitchen every night, feeling so upset and helpless about all the death and distruction. (Being very pregnant didn’t help, I’m sure.) What really got me upset at that time, though, were all the pictures of the dogs and cats that were abandoned and helpless. My wonderful husband, to help me feel better, helped me find a way to donate money to the animals.

Here’s where I get on my soapbox.

If, in this next election, certain officials start playing the fear card and start telling you that if you vote for their opponent, the terrorists will strike, Don;t beleive them. Don’t think for a SECOND that this administration can keep us safe. They can’t. They could not save 1,000 plus residents of a city even when they had prior notice that disaster would strike. FEMA left thousands abandoned in a stadium, Bush joked about doing “a hell of a job” while there were still many missing, and Congress continues play political games with the business of getting back to living in the Gulf Coast. Hurricane Katrina was their test for terrorism and disaster and they failed. Not only did they fail, but they should be fired, plain and simple.

Ahh…sorry. I had to say that.

In exciting news, Lily in now the proud owner of a Weeble castle. The box said it was for children over the age of 1, but it looked fun and engaging. Lily loved it; even more importantly, she wanted to put the Weebles in their chairs and down the slides and push them on the horse…It was so much fun to watch her play with it. She’s not much for blocks or rings or cups, but she loved moving the little Weebles through their world, and that was amazing.

Posted in Soapbox anyone?, Life | 2 Comments »