October 28, 2006 by veronica.

OK, so I’ve retreived a bunch of pictures from various cameras, so I can finally post them for you all.  I hope you enjoy them.

My sister Elizabeth got us matching T-shirts this summer on the Cape.
Liz and Lily last week
Lily inspects the pile I put her into.
Lily thinks she’s purr-fect.
Lily demonstates toddler road rage techniques.
  This is a new skill– she’s no beauty school dropout.
Our Halloween costumes from last weekend.  Very scary.

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October 27, 2006 by veronica.

OK, I will admit that I’ve been a little cranky in my last few posts.  I’ll blame having to work 3 days in a row the last 2 weeks.  How does anyone ever work 5 days in a row?  It’s madness, I tell you!

I found a CD that lovely Stephanie made me a few years ago.  See, back in college, we didn’t really go to bars.  We did, however, have a pub on campus.  The beer was cheap, the lights were always low, and there was a waitress.  On Thursdays (Senior Seminar nights) the place would get packed.  A few times we scoured the partment for change and scraped together enough cash to go and get afew beers each.  Oh, and we lived 100 yards away.  It was awesome.

My favorite thing to do was to go to the pub with pals and take a couple of our precious beer dollars and stick them (the money, not my friends) into the jukebox.  I wouldn’t go for the obvious *NSYNC or Britney Spears (OK, once in awhile, I would), but I’d go for the more obscure.  So, in no particular order, here’s my list of my very favorite drinking songs:

“Tragedy” by the Bee Gees

“Massachusetts” by the Bee Gees

“Knights in White Satin” by the Moody Blues

“Little Black Backpack” by Stroke 9

“The Tears of A Clown” by Smokey Robinson

“Spice up Your Life” by the Spice Girls

“Alcohol” by the Barenaked Ladies

“Faded” by SoulDecision

“Veronica” by Elvis Costello

“Copacabana” by Barry Manilow

“Pour Some Sugar on Me” by Def Leppard

“Ordinary World” by Duran Duran

“Stepping Stones” by G. Love & Special Sauce

And, finally:

“Suicide is Painless” by Manic Street Preachers

I know it’s an odd list, but if you ask me, heaven is a couple of full glasses of Miller Lite, a plate of buffalo chicken tenders, and these songs.

Yeah.

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October 25, 2006 by veronica.

I haven’t posted in awhile.  My sister came to visit us from Rochester, NY, so we were busy doing lots of fun things.  We went to a Halloween party, visited the MOA, and spent a lot of time watching Lily play with her new, super-big Legos.  I have pictures, and I will post them once I get home and get them off of my camera.  So that was good.

I did get a name for my doula-izing.  I know it was tough.  Unfortunately, Doula Doula did not win out.  Gentle Babe and Gentle Acts were also rejected.  Chris thought they sounded too much like strip club names.  I didn’t see it, but that’s fine.  I ended up putting any plans on the shelf for making my own brochures, ordered them from DONA, and printed out some very plain business cards.  Nothing fancy, just enough to get me off of the ground.  I go to training in Woodbury in 2 weeks, and that should be very fun.

I am getting a little frustrated, though, with the process of becoming a childbirth educator.  I’m going back and forth between 2 organizations, Lamaze and ICEA.  Both are very well respected, and each has it’s own pros and cons.  However, the ICEA website is extremely confusing and every time I go to figure out what I need to do, I find a new piece of information and get all confused.  I did call their offices once, but the lady I spoke with was very short and treated my questions like an interruption.  I did not get any warm fuzzies, and I was really disappointed.  The Lamaze contact has been good, but I think I’ve been having a hard time receving any of her emails, and I’m not sure why.  I just don’t know.  Both organizations require my attendance at a training seminar, but Chicago right now is the closest traning I’ve found for next year.  I’m thisclose to giving up, and that makes me sad.  After getting rejected for the OMC opening, and now this, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing.  I know that becoming a childbirth educator would help me help women become empowered and confident in their ability to go through the birthing process, and I know that I so very much want to help others get over the fear that seems to surround many people’s perception of the birth process.  I’m just not sure how to do that if I’m not an educator as well as a doula.

I’ve been reading some really good books about the work that midwives do, and I’m seeing so much how our birth experiences could be so much more positive than they really are.  They could be cheaper, safer, and more satisfying.  There are ways this can happen, but there is some resistance to doing anything differently.  The United States has the worst infant mortality rate out of any industrialized country in the world, yet we spend more money per birth than any country.  Some of that has to do with poverty, lack of access to health care for some, and premature births, but it just goes to show that things need to change.  Women should be supported throughout pregnancy by society, they should be able to get health care for all 9 months, and they should be educated so that they can make the best possible choices for them.  There is so much focus on the “right-to-life” debate, yet only 17% of employers now offer a paid maternity leave, there is a growing resistance by corporations to adopt family- friendly policies, and funding is constantly being cut that ensures the safetly and well-being of our littlest Americans.  If the pro-lifers are serious, they should put half of the energy they put into the fight to ban abortion into creating a mandated paid 3 month maternity leave for all working women.  Funding Head Start and trying to end poverty would help, but it makes sense to at least let a mother stay at home for 3 months and give her child a good start without having to worry about how to pay for housing.  Or food.  Or healthcare.  I don’t even think it would be too hard to put together, logistics-wise, but I know that most emlpoyers would protest any legislation that would require funding paid maternity leave.  Well, not all.  Just 83% of them.

Posted in The doula journey, Soapbox anyone? | No Comments »

October 17, 2006 by veronica.

When I left my job at Ameriprise, I left a postion that was very, very stressful.  My coworkers stressed me out.  The clients stressed me out.  Home office stressed me out.  The paperwork stressed me out.  I had to go to monthly massage sessions to stay sane.  I never relaxed, even when I got home at night.  It was terrible.

Thrivent has been 100% different.  Because they have very strict rules on what contact I can have with “members”, I can avoid all of the nasty, angry, irritated calls.  So even though I do know exactly what they are talking about, I get to cut them off right away and pass the call along to one of my bosses.  This is good.  One of the worst aspects about my job is that people tend to get very, very weird about their money.  Nothing sets them off quite like investing.  Not that I blame them.  I don’t.  If I thought someone was messing with my life savings, I’d freak out.  I just hate being on the other end of that call.

Today, I got the first nasty, awful call that made me feel like I hadn’t left my old job.

I got a call from a lawyer’s assistant.  She said she wanted to change the ownership and beneficiary information on some holdings of a member, but she didn’t know what kind of accounts they were or if she really had these assets.  In addition, she wanted to make these changes over the phone, and could I please tell her the amount of everything client A held?

Excuse me?

I know other places might not have this rule, but I know better than give out any information to a third party without authorization.  I explained this policy to the dear legal assistant, but she said she didn’t know why we had to do that.  After all, client A is ill and the lawyer’s office was supposed to change everything.

So the conversation was something like (The legal assistant speaking first):

“So you mean you can’t give me that information?”

“No.  I need the client’s permission to talk to you.  And then, once we have that permission, I can call you back and we can discuss what you want done.”

“Well, her mother is supposed to call.” (Client A is almost 60)
“See, and that’s not going to work.  Your client is the owner of the accounts, so anything needs to come from her.”

“Well, the client is too ill.  She can’t call.”

“OK, then we could take that instruction from whomever has power of attorney.  I’d just need to have a copy of that document in the file before releasing information.”

“What do you mean by power of attorney?  What are you talking about?”

See, and this is where I almost hung up.  She works at a lawyer’s office.  One who drafts the POA documents.  So not only was she asking me to circumvent the law, she didn’t even understand one of the basic ideas in estate planning.  I ended the call by telling her that in order for any conversation to continue, I had to hear from the client.  And no, we can not change ownership or beneficiaries over the phone, it had to be done with forms (another extremely obvious issue.  Some states even need a consent of a spouse for these changes).
I never heard from client A.

Miss legal assistant called back 30 minutes later, looking for the forms so she could fill them out herself.  I told her Thrivent didn’t put them online.  She was really terse with me, saying other companies did.  My reply was that her statement was not true, and in this case, it’s a matter of Thrivent trying to protect the accounts of its members from unsolicited third party interventions.

The legal assistant ended up faxing her request.  Here’s the issue.  I don’t care if she came to my office.  I wasn’t going to help her until I heard from the client.  End. Of. Story.

It put me in a terrible mood for the rest of the day.  I wasn’t upset at the prospect of having to change anything, but completely taken aback that someone who worked in a law office would be so clueless.

My boss did talk to the client at around 4:30.  See?  That wasn’t so hard.  I don’t know why the law office was trying to do it without her, but I’ll tell you, when the time comes, I’m getting my will somewhere else.

Grrr.

Posted in Soapbox anyone? | 3 Comments »

October 14, 2006 by veronica.

First, I wanted to let you all know that I was able to find a computer with Publisher and got my file opened.  Thanks for all the offers, though!

This was a big week for me.  I now have my first client.  I am super excited about this.  She’s due in February, so I could conceivably line one up for December and January, too.  That would mean I could be certified before March.  The sooner I get certified, the sooner I will start charging.

I also now have networked.  My chiropractor works a ton with pregnant women (she’s certified to turn breech babies using the Webster Technique), so when I was in Friday getting an adjustment, I asked her if she would be OK with referring people to me.  She thought that was great, all I needed to do was come up with business cards and a brochure!  So, yay!  She does have a lot of contact with the pregant population, and I think it could be really good.  Of course, I will refer people to her in return, but I have been for a year, so that’s not a big deal.

Tuesday was my last Childbirth Class.  It was actually pretty boring.  Most of the time was spent by mothers talking about what they are concerned about.  BORING.  The cool thing was that one of the mothers’ husband wasn’t there because he was doing Parent/Teacher conferences.  She asked me to help her do the labor practice excercises.  So, I did.  I helped her breathe through her “contractions”, and I helped her practice the labor postions.  It was so awesome.  I had a really good time.

I’m getting names for the “business”.  A lot of the ones I’ve come up with are taken by multiple doulas in several countries.  It’s tough. I’ve come up with “Beautiful Beginnings”, “Gentle Beginnings”, and “Peapods”.  Not sure about them, though.  I did come up with a logo– it’s Lily’s ultrasound, only “jazzed up”.  I like it.

All in all, I just have keep myself from going too fast.  I’m so excited about all of this that sometimes I get a little impatient.  But for now, I’m in a lull before my workshop, so I’ll have lots of time to dedicate to writing my position paper and working on a brochure.  Well, and a business plan.  See?  Lots for me to worry about.  I’m set.

Posted in The doula journey | 16 Comments »

October 11, 2006 by veronica.

I need some assistance.

First of all, if anyone out there has access to Microsoft Publisher, I have a file I need printed.  From there, I don’t care if you fax it to me, scan it and email it to me, or snail mail it.  I just need some help opening a stupid file.  Please let me know if you can help. =)

Second of all, I know that you are all very smart and probably a lot more clever than I am.  I need to get a name and a slogan for my doula practice.  The name may end up having to become an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation), and the slogan would be used on any marketing.  The word “doula” does not have to be in any of it.  Professional labor support can be mentioned either as part of the name or slogan.  Chris came up with the name “Doula Doula”, and I came up with the slogan “Providing professional comfort and support to the laboring woman”.  The name got voted down, but the tag line is…ok.  One thing I’m trying to do is have a name and a slogan that will work when I do become a certified childbirth instructor.  That would be ideal, but not necessary.  Please PLEASE help me out.  If you come up with anything, you can post it in the comments section or email me.

As a bonus, I would love it if someone could come up with a logo…but that’s a lot to ask.  I may have to get crayons out and work on it once I have a name.

THANK YOU in advance for helping me.  I’ll give you a permanent spot in my hall of fame if you come up with something good.

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October 8, 2006 by veronica.

Lily survived her first birthday party. The weather mostly cooperated, which was good. Lily resisted taking an afternoon nap, but I think she did pretty well, considering. We had lots of wonderful people come to help us celebrate. Lily thoroughly enjoyed having all of her friends around. She wasn’t quite sure about the cake at first, but she was quickly convinced that it was pretty good to eat. She also demonstrated how well it works for facials and hair treatments. Surprisingly, she helped open all of her presents. By the end of the evening, she was pretty much running on fumes and sugar. After a bath and some books, she was out in under a minute. I think she spent most of today recovering, too. I know we did.
Chris will be posting a video of the cake eating on our family website. I’ve posted some pictures, and if we get more emailed to us, (hint , hint, Pat!), I’ll get more up. I got help with the pictures, so I’ll be able to post them going forward. YAY!

Posted in Raising baby | 2 Comments »